Dark Incursion
by devilsalt
Summary: With Shepard dead, the Reaper threat was dismissed. Dr. Renee Logan has reasons to believe otherwise when a Corsairs mission to clear out the Geth unveils a vanished colony. But without the Commander, whose to make the connections. Post Shepard's death. DISCONTINUED.
1. Chapter 1

**Author`s Note: So I came up with this idea after finishing an in-depth play through of Mass Effect and then starting another one on Mass Effect 2, and I thought about how much I actually liked Jacob. And so this idea came upon me and I got to writing and decided to just go with it. This fic will take place before the events of ME2, but after Shepard's death. It will have a combination of original characters and various cameos from ME characters, mostly Kaidan and Jacob from what I've got planned now. Don't worry, I'm a total Shenko fan, so there isn't going to be any Kaidan/OC going on, but he is going to be a very important character through out the story. Anywho, the first chapter is always weak isn't it? At least for me, I just needed to get down the background basis for my character before going head-on into the storyline without having to write a mass collection of flashbacks throughout. Enjoy, reviews would be awesome, but I'll live without them too.**

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><p>.00 PROLOGUE<p>

"It has been three long months since the SSV Normandy was attacked and the ship's commander went missing…" Dr. Renee Logan's face was glowing from the reflection of the live vid playing from her monitor. Councilor Anderson, the first human to be accepted into the council, was surrounded by his fellow council mates in the Citadel Tower as he was addressing the Citadel and Arcturus Station from a live feed. She immediately recalled the troubling news of the distress beacons found along with half of the Normandy's crew a few months prior, and how the search for Commander Shepard had sent nearly all of the Alliance across the galaxy.

There was an evident hesitation from the former Captain as he glanced sideways nervously. "Today the Alliance has decided to call off all further searches for the Commander's body and to declare the Commander officially killed in action." There was still silence as there had been throughout the entire press conference, with a few intrusions of Alliance shoulders expression their obvious disproval.

"Unbelievable," came a voice from behind the intrigued Doctor. It was her regular biotic patient, a soldier in the Alliance who was staring bewildered at the same vid on his omni-tool. Jacob Taylor wasn't normally one to get upset, but he was suddenly adjusting his uniform to its pristine condition after being disarrayed from his exam. Renee turned around in her chair to watch him shake his head as he was buttoning the last of his buttons on his suit.

Renee stood up as Jacob was making sure nothing else was out of place, "Leaving so soon?" She reached back to look over Jacob's files and all the notes she kept on him and his biotic implants since he stepped into her clinic over a year ago. The Doctor ran one of the many clinics across the Arcturus Station, specializing in biotics since she first stepped into medical school. Although she had yet to serve on a ship, Renee was regarded as one of the best Doctors specialized in biotics on the station. And Jacob Taylor just happened to be one of her weekly patients.

"There's gonna be a lot of angry soldiers Doc, I better go check with my Commander," he brushed past her as he talked, stopping a few steps behind her to finish his excuse. There was a settled pause, a pause they usually shared when Jacob left the clinic, when the tension in the air was electric. He glanced over his shoulder at her, to notice the nervous hesitation of trying to give him parting words.

She breathed in and turned to face him, "Don't stress out your implants too much Jake, you know how terrible your headaches can get." He turned around to acknowledge her concern, something he really liked about her. Alliance doctors aren't usual so compassionate or caring. He slightly grinned and approached as she went on. "You may have L3 implants, but using as much biotic powers as you do is going to cause some strain."

Jacob was in front of her now and she had to look up to meet his dark eyes, gazing upon her with another interest. She felt that building tension between them rattle even more and it only appeared to get worst after they both survived the Geth attack on Eden Prime

Jacob smirked, "Can't help being a strong biotic Doctor." There was no formality in his comment, but both knew better than to go beyond their surnames as tempting as it was. He looked down at her grin, temptation at its best and he was succumbing. "I do believe I owe you a dinner Doctor?" he inquired, catching her off guard.

"Do you?" Renee replied, unable to recall a point where he may have ever suggested the thought. The biotic answered her by stepping closer to where she was footed, cornered into her desk. "I wasn't aware there were any nice restaurants on the Arcturus Station?" Of course she knew there wasn't anything but mess halls scattered across the station, but she was growing curious by Jacob's suggestion.

"No there's not, but I know a mean steakhouse back on Earth," Jacob answered with a toothier grin, which brought back an earlier conversation from the week before. The bashing Doctor suddenly remembered him mentioning his shore leave coming up soon and slyly asking if she ever took a vacation herself. Truth was she hadn't in a long time since graduating from med school, but at that moment she was definitely considering it seriously.

Jacob reached to push away strands of dark hair away from her face, still grinning. "Tell you what; you know where to find me later. Let me know." His hand dropped from her cheek leaving behind his warmth across her blushing cheek and turned to leave her clinic, smiling back at her over his shoulder as the door sealed behind him.

Renee fell back into her chair speechless wondering if this was a step forward from everything that had happened in the last few years of her life. It would be a welcomed change, something to get her back on her feet again. In that moment, as she was biting her nail in deep thought, the doctor reflected on her schedule for the remainder of the month. Surely the station could do with one-less doctor for a week or two? With that, she turned to her computer to focus on explaining why she needed a vacation to her superiors.

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><p>It was a few hours later, though you could hardly tell on a station floating in space, that Renee had gotten clearance for shore leave and was now heading to Jacob's quarters to share the good news. The young doctor felt nervous outside her familiar medical garb, now dressing in regular civilian clothes anticipating leaving the station. Jacob's room was growing closer and she wondered if he'd be happy to hear her reply. She didn't feel the giant smile on her face as she found herself standing at his door, which happened to be hollow enough for her to hear noisy movement from the other side.<p>

Renee stepped forward and the door sprung open to reveal an emptying room with an actively packing Jacob at his bunk side. He was just putting away his formal uniform in an old box when he looked up, with an expression that clearly meant disappointment. Jacob apparently was hoping she was going to reject his invitation, or worst, that he was going to be off the station before she came to see him. She knew she was right when he couldn't make eye contact with her and instead sighed heavily looking down into his box. That's when she noticed more boxes and crates probably full of his belongings as well.

"I didn't want it to be like this," he finally muttered, securing the courage to look up at her with a faint expression. Renee was hoping Jacob was just taking things home to swap them out, or maybe getting a different room on the station, but she knew they were foolish thoughts.

"I'm sure you didn't," she snapped back, turning away from him and leaning back against the nearest wall by the doorway. She didn't know what was going on, but she was preparing herself for the worst.

Jacob sealed the last box, still unable to fully look at her. "I'm leaving the Alliance Renee," even though it had been one of the few times he had ever said her first name, it was meaningless. The tension that had always been between them had suddenly turned cold and Renee found herself not blushing but shaking with anger. "They're trying to discredit Commander Shepard's warning about the Reapers and I'm not going to stand by and just accept that. If she was right about Saren, then she's gotta be pretty damn right about the Reapers."

Knowing that the Alliance was dismissing Shepard's claims with a wave of their hand was upsetting, even more a simple doctor who had never met the Commander, but she was in no rush to just up and quit. Perhaps he wasn't the only one leaving, but why did he have to be one of them? Renee breathed in sharply, "So you're just going to leave?"

"Renee I-" Jacob stepped towards her, but she stepped back and shook her head, now the one who couldn't look at him. She hadn't been this angry in so long.

"Just go Jacob, there is obviously nothing holding you back," she remarked smugly, her voice just trembling enough to hide. Jacob was hurt, but like any man he was able to hide it behind a front and that's just what he was doing when he picked up the box from the bunk and headed towards the doorway. He brushed shoulders with her, almost purposely, but she didn't look at him. And just as he was about to hope for a second chance, she spoke, "I'm use to people leaving without as much as a goodbye."

It was over then. Jacob left without another word and the door 'swooshed' closed behind him, leaving Renee alone in what was formerly his room. This was almost better not seeing him at all before his departure, but only almost. The familiar faint sickness and wrath she had felt in her youth was overcoming her in emotional waves as she tried to compose herself before leaving the area of the station. It was bad enough she wouldn't have work to keep herself busy, but now it would look like she was vacationing alone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author`s Note: I have a terrible habit of starting something and then disappearing for a while, which I have no intentions of doing any longer. With school coming to a lovely end, for good, I'll have more time to work on writing. So here's, finally, the next chapter. I think it kinda sucks, but I needed to get back in the groove of writing again and just had to go with what I had written previously. Reviews are great, but I'll live if you have better things to do ;)**

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><p>01. REASSIGNED<p>

Renee was parading through the station in her civilian clothes, defying the Alliance station-wide rule to be in proper uniform while on duty. Technically she wasn't officially on duty until she had re-opened her clinic, which was probably why she was taking her time to dig through her hand bag for her security I.D. as she was walking. It wasn't long however until Renee found her I.D. to swipe through the card reader attached to the wall to unlock her office; but she was surprised to find it already unlocked.

The heavy mechanical door slid up when she stepped onto the sensor and the young doctor found herself in the Company of Admiral Hackett, whom had made himself comfortable on her plush sofa. Immediately she turned to feign haven entered the wrong room, but the highly recognized Alliance solider knew better.

"Dr. Logan, I assume you enjoyed your extended shore leave?" Renee had been part of the Alliance long enough to know the Admiral could care very little about anyone's vacation but his own. So she answered cautiously with a nod. "Good, good," he paused, "Glad to have you back."

Renee wandered to her desk and placed her few belongings amongst the clutter she had left behind. "I'm quite sure you're not here to admire my tan Admiral," she responded in shy bluntness. The veteran smirked at her comment and stood up from where he had been lounging on the couch for the last half-hour, to cross the room towards the sealed window, were the outside shutters had been lifted.

"Right you are Doctor, I'm her because I am in need of someone of your talent," he had locked his arms behind his back formerly and was staring out into the dark space behind the glass as he spoke with his back towards her.

"I'm no Alliance soldier Sir," Renee answered, afraid where this was going. She turned away from her desk to stare at the Admiral's uniformed back, trying to suppress her worried expression.

"No, no you're not, but you have proved you are quite capable of taking necessary action when duty calls." Renee was sure he was referring to the bio attack on the citadel a year ago, when a Batarian Ambassador released a deadly plague throughout the Citadel, hoping to take out the Council. Dr. Logan just happened to be there when it all went down. She helped C-Sec take back the Citadel station after being infiltrated and after the fighting had been ended, she turned her attention to the few who were exposed to the plague. Renee had no intentions of reliving the crisis - for various reasons.

"With all due respect Sir, I have no desire to put myself in that position again," she bluntly spoke, which was out-of-character of someone of her nature. she had grown fond of the simple life as a doctor since that attack on the Citadel.

"I'm afraid your volunteering is not an option Miss," Admiral Hackett answered no the least bit upset by her decline, but in no mood to argue with her wishes. He turned away from the window to see she was upset by the answer. "We've already arranged for a substitute for your clinic and you'll be expected to be ready to leave tonight."

Renee didn't know is she wanted to be angry or excited for once, excited for a change. Either seemed rather possible at this point. The Admiral gave her an encouraging smile from across the lobby, almost fatherly in an Alliance veteran sort of way. She looked down at her desk and didn't like the idea of someone else sitting there, but she knew there was nothing she could do to get the Admiral to change his mind at this point.

"May I ask what exactly I have been enlisted for Sir?" If she wasn't going to be angry, she sure as hell was curious and if she no longer had a choice in this, she at least wanted a heads up to what she was getting herself into. The Admiral was suddenly proud to answer her, but she was not prepared for his response.

"The Corsairs Dr. Logan, an elite group-"

"I know who they are," she interrupted suddenly, deciding she was going to be angry now.

She already knew about the Corsairs, more than most enlisted in the Alliance knew, and that was probably what had stunned Admiral Hackett for a moment. The Corsairs weren't exactly common knowledge to an Alliance doctor. Renee had known a corsair, before he decided to leave the Alliance over a year earlier. She knew that joining the Corsairs meant possibly running into people who knew him and her. The Admiral took notice to her upsetting puzzlement and decided to take his leave.

"The freighter leaves at 1900 hours, try not to be late Doctor."

Renee barely moved to salute him when he left and collapsed into the nearest chair when she heard the clinic door seal with a hiss behind him. She wasn't sure if she was ready to see action again, or even carry around a gun, even if only for protection. Truth be told, she still had nightmares sometimes of when the rogue Spectre Saren had lead an attack on the Citadel. She watched as friends and patients were slaughtered by the swarming geth, if she hadn't been rescued by one of her own patients, she would have been dead too.

She sighed loudly and brushed her dark hair back with her hand, she knew it would be pointless to unpack her things from vacationing at this point. So, instead, she decided to leave her suitcase on her bed where she had left it and to pack a new bag of Alliance appropriate attire. Before she left her clinic however, Renee used her omni-tool to check her mail. She had received the usual spam mail while she was away and was even less surprised by the vid-mail she received from a former patient and friend. Despite that, Renee found herself unable to read his message still and resorted to storing it with his other unread vid-mails.

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><p>The Doctor had no intentions of being late, not when an Admiral had insisted on her arriving in a timely manner. So she had her luggage forwarded to the freighter while she made final touches on the arrangements for her replacement, which was far more painful then she had thought. No matter how much she desired to stay, she locked her apartment and handed over the keys to her clinic before heading down to the garage. Since she was on a schedule, Renee made sure to make good time through the busy wards and the security check point by having everything they would ask for ready.<p>

When the guard scanned her I.D. she was worried by the surprised look on his face, that he terribly tried to hide by tilting his head away. _Great! _Renee thought to herself, when he ran her I.D. for a second time, as if trying to confirm his findings. After an access granted beep for the second time, he handed back her I.D. with an unusual interest. "Guess you'll be joining the big kids," he remarked in an almost envious manner, glancing her up and down.

"Excuse me?" Renee answered, she was both confused and insulted by his obvious disappointment in her being given some sort of elite clearance.

The guard sighed rudely. "You'll want to head for the third dock on your left, that's where the freighter has been reserved for you special guys." She barely was given the chance to question him again before he was pushing her along for the next soldier to gain entrance to the garage. So she followed his directions to the correct elevator that would take her down to the awaiting docked freighter.

On her way down she listened to a news update on renovations throughout the Citadel, while most of the C-Sec Academy had been rebuilt immediately, parts of the wards was still in need of improvement. What she saw of the wards rebuilding wasn't all too impressing when she last visited the Citadel, she often found herself forgetting what floor she was on and where things were. Of course, those who survived in the wards are most appreciative of the wards modernization.

After a few minutes of listening to endless news casts, Renee had reached her assigned dock, which was already busy with soldiers arranging and carrying supplies and luggage onto the freighter. She had to weave around clusters of soldiers and steel crates as she walked alongside the length of the freighter, named Stalengrad. This was the freighter she would be playing Doctor on. Renee was impressed by its size, nothing compared to the Normandy, or so she was told, but probably just as well received as the deceased freighter. She wasn't sure whether to board or wait outside with other stranglers, but she knew she would need to get to the Med Bay soon to file the crew's medical reports.

"The Doctor I presume?" she cautiously turned around to find herself standing in the presence of a decorated Captain, whom was dressed far more formerly then the rest of the hustling crew about the dock. He smiled casually down at her, for she was rather short compared to his height, and he offered his hand to shake hers. Renee shook his hand gently and nodded to his assumption.

"Dr. Renee Logan," she named, "Permission to board Captain?" She was itching to get to her desk, to sort through the stack of files already scattered across its surface. The Captain hesitantly released her hand and nodded.

"Captain Charlie Vero, I was hoping I'd catch you in time to show you to the Med Bay myself," the good Captain answered in relief. He politely waved his arm for her to step ahead of him and even gently pushed on the small of her back to emphasis his insistence.

Renee walked side-by-side with Captain Vero, matching his soldier-like pace as he maneuvered around people and things and towards the back of the Stalengrad. She found herself even more impressed with the freighter's interior, although lacking stylistic design, it didn't fail to support the modern traits of an Alliance freighter. The Captain paused momentarily for a door to open and then suddenly she was standing in what would be her home for a while.

The Med Bay was equipped with a few beds and everything she would need to perform from getting a cold and needing to have surgery. Her desk, which was entirely much nicer than the one in her clinic back on the station, was roomy enough for everyone's paperwork to be tossed carelessly on. And if things couldn't get even more better, the Captain opened a door in the back of the bay to a room of her own. Renee was suddenly glad to be Corsair, if it meant she wouldn't have to share a bunk with a total stranger.

Captain Vero padded back towards her from where he had opened the door to her room. "Of course," he started, glancing back at her room, "You'll still have to use the bathroom which is across from the bunks." Renee looked up from a file she was browsing to share a disappointed look with him, which he returned with a grin. "Don't worry, they're separated bathrooms and you are one of very few women on this ship."

"So, do you know what dangerous mission we're about to embark on?" Renee finally asked, the question had been bothering her since Admiral Hackett refused to entirely explain her new duties to her. The Captain added to her bother with a slight shrug, as he too began to finger through the files already stacked on her desk.

"All I know Doctor is that we won't know anything until we're through the relay," he answered unenthusiastically, glancing up at her when she sighed disappointedly. "And," he suddenly added. Renee turned sharply to receive his remark with all her attention. "You were specifically requested for this mission Miss Renee."

Suddenly she felt sick, "Who would do that?"

"I don't know, they won't say," he answered her truthfully, wanting the answer himself.

"Well that's just great," she huffed and slunk down into her new expensive chair. The Captain got the hint she wanted to be alone, which was timely with his Captain duties to make another round of checking on things before they left the station. He grinned again at her, although she wasn't looking, and headed towards the door. Renee was too focused staring at the ground to see him walk by.

Before he stepped across the threshold, he looked over his shoulder. "You'll probably be expecting some company soon, we've got a handful of biotics on board and if I read your file right, you're sort of an expert on those type." He left without anything else to say.

Renee had her elbows on the desk and her face in her hands, she was suddenly entirely exhausted after only a handful of hours since returning from a rejuvenating vacation. How did things suddenly turn serious on her, again. Why would anyone recommend her for the Corsairs? Surely Admiral Hackett meant it when he said she was enlisted for her help against the Batarians, not something entirely different. _"_It has to be the Admiral," she told herself in a whisper. Otherwise, something bad was attached to her reassignment.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author`s Note: After publishing the second chapter I was hit with a wave of inspiration to write the third chapter, and I'll probably be working on the fourth one tonight as well. Alongside _Dark Incursions_, I'll be working on (hopefully) two other fics. Both Dragon Age, cause Bioware is just that awesome at creating amazing universes. One will follow DA:O in its entirety and the second will have characters from DA:O, but have a more parallel storyline; plus it'll have Cullen, cause let's admit he's so darn awkwardly cute. So yeah, updating soon with one or the other.**

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><p>.03 BIOTICS<p>

The Stalengrad's doctor had fallen fast asleep on her desk during the initial take-off from Arcturus Station and flight to the relay; and without waking up once, she had missed the entire jump. Luckily for her she was a quiet sleeper, for as soon as she started to wake, Dr. Renee found herself in the presence of one of the crew. Initially she didn't recognize him as a part of reality until she forced her heavy lids to look up again from where her arms were crossed on the desk. Sitting across from her in a relaxed feet-on-the-desk way was a man dressed in the standard Alliance uniform.

"Good morning Doc," he coed suavely to her rising head, struck with both confusion and tolerable annoyance of being disturbed during her slumber. She reached routinely for the clock that was on her desk back in her clinic and groaned disappointedly when it obviously wasn't there. The man grinned, charmingly, from her subconscious routine. Usually when anyone smiled at her like that, a mass of butterflies would have been fluttering about in her stomach, but this time his radiant ego was far to bright to ignore.

"What do you want?" she groaned again, sheepishly through her hands as she tried to wipe the sleep from her face. He continued to grin knowingly at her, which was growing obnoxious the more alert she became. From the edge of her desk he pushed forward a vanilla folder, an old-school way to file someone, but required in some cases. Vanilla folders usually meant she would have to keep an extra eye on this one.

Renee momentarily glanced between him and the folder, still dazed. He smirked and leaned back in the chair on the opposite side of her desk, folding his arms back behind his head. She tore away her gaze from his inappropriate lax behavior as an Alliance soldier and sluggishly opened his file. Immediately she noticed his official Alliance photo; which, for him, looked more like a mug shot than a profession identification. But she ignored that part of his file and moved along to his Alliance and medical records. He was only a year older than her and was an "army brat" like most soldiers. However, when she took a closer look at his medical records she caught on to why he was physically sitting across from her rather than turning in a file like everyone else.

"So, Lt. Colton Hawke-"

"Just Hawke will do Doc," the L2 biotic interrupted. Renee looked up at him with little interest in what he wanted to be called; she was already annoyed by the smug grin that still stretched across his face. Upon a more attentive look at Hawke, she noticed his sculpted form through his uniform, muscular but not too pumped like some soldiers that walked into her clinic. He had an even olive tone, a perfected tan that would take her nearly a year to reach. Hawke had dark hair like most humans did these days, grown out from a prior buzz but longer where he had left a patch to shape into a short faux hawk. What she was drawn to most, which was probably one of the only things she'd ever come to admire of the man, were his eyes. A brilliant shade of dark blue, rare like blond hair, but yet as bright as normal blue eyes.

Upon noticing her eyes lingering on him far longer than a quick one-up, Hawke decided to comment. "See something you like Doc?" Renee was glaring at him to the best of her ability, she was usually patient with guys of his character, but her patience was running thin. So, she decided to ignore what he had said entirely.

"So you're an L2, correct?" she distracted from his earlier comment, oblivious to his disappointment in receiving no reply. He sighed in defeat and nodded. "And when was your last check-up?"

Once again Hawke proudly smirked, "Last week, but I'm all up for a more in-depth physical examination. Just tell me when to strip." When she hoped he would finally begin to take things seriously, he surprised her with another crude liner.

"That won't be necessary," she sneered in mild disgust, unable to look at him any longer. "Do you get migraines? And if you do, when was your last one?" With that out on the table, she forced herself to look up at the lieutenant. Being an expert in biotics and their implants, she knew that biotics implanted with L2s were often victims of painful after effects. If an L2 was luckily, a long migraine was the only thing one would need to worry about. She had known a few biotics that have to live everyday with continuous unbearable sharp pains throughout their body, sometimes their screams haunted her dreams. Hopefully by bringing up migraines, Renee hoped Hawke would take this exchange more seriously.

He suddenly brightened up by her question, as if he had been eagerly anticipating to talk about his migraines. "Now that you mention it," Hawke dropped his feet from the corner of her desk, which she hadn't noticed were there until that moment. He leaned forward where he was seated, as if trying to sum up the words to say. Renee was feeling relieved that things were finally getting somewhere, besides a trip to the Captain's quarters to complain. "You see Doc," she waited patiently for his complaints, "I actually got this headache that a relaxing intimate massage from you might just be the cure."

"Alright, were done," Renee jumped to her feet on the verge of throwing her computer screen at his head. Her eyes scanned the room for the call box, ready to call the Captain to the med bay. The lieutenant got to his feet too, proving his scaling height reported in his papers. He was ready to jump in front of her if she even stepped towards the call box.

As if he hadn't made her angry enough, Hawke had one last remark to add. "I'll be more than happy to give you one too Doc," he quickly added as she was pacing back and fourth behind her desk in irritation. Renee looked at him sharply when she heard what he said, and watched as he winked suggestively at her.

"I'm a professional, not some kinky nurse from your fantasies Lieutenant!" she retorted in a snap. Renee had never met someone that made her feel so insulted and insecure about herself at once. "I think it's time you left Lt. Hawke."

He looked at her with the same smirk that painted his face since he first came here, however, he was hiding the fact he was just as upset about how the debriefing went. Although she could't begin to understand why he would be upset, Renee could see it in his eyes. Hawke held his hands up apologetically and approached to exit the Med Bay. Upon reaching the sensor he turned to look over his shoulder at her again, with an almost sorry expression. Then as the door glided open, he stepped out of the med bay only to back-step into the room. "One more thing, and I promise it's not bad."

Renee had already begun to add his folder to the rest of the vanilla folders in her drawer when he returned to the room. Although she had little interest in what else he had to say, she decided to give him the benefit of a doubt. However, if what came out of his mouth was as insulting as the rest she was going to have the Captain in here within seconds. Hawke grinned, a different grin then he had presented to her all this time, one without an ulterior motive. "What?" she sighed when he hadn't said anything.

"Your real cute when your sleeping."

And with that said, Lt. Hawke stepped out of the doorway and he was sealed out as soon as he passed out of the sensor. Despite being offended by all his prior and lewd comments towards her, Renee found herself blushing from his final cheeky compliment to her. She didn't know if she should be thankful she didn't snore or embarrassed he had watched her at all. Either way, the blood had come to her face and she was finding it hard to hide. As a shadow passed the tinted window to the med bay, she quickly turned around and put her hand to her mouth. If she would just relax a bit, it would go away.

As if things for her at the moment weren't nerve wrecking enough, Renee heard the door hiss open again. She was mostly expecting it to be Lt. Hawke, returning to cover up his compliment with another sexual harassment. But when she turned around pretending to be annoyed to hide her blush, she was met with an entirely different biotic on board. "What do you want now?" was what she was shouting as she turned on her heel to face him again. However, she greeted the new company in a short breath, "Kaidan." Realizing that addressing another soldier informally was often looked upon with suspicion, Renee quickly corrected herself and smiled at him. "I mean, Lt. Alenko."

"It's Commander Alenko now actually," he paused and returned the smile,"It's nice to see you again Dr. Logan."

Nothing was more comforting than actually knowing someone else on the Stalengrad, which so far had been no one, that is until Kaidan walked into the med bay. He seemed just as surprised to see her as she was to see him. What she knew of Kaidan, he wasn't exactly willing to go outside Alliance red-tape like the Corsairs did; that is, of course, unless the entire universe depended on it. Which was what he had told her was the case, when he helped steal the Normandy and track Saren down in Ilos. Then again, she never stepped out of the Alliance regs either until now, but that wasn't entirely by choice.

"So what brings you here?" Renee asked curiously, still swept up in the comforting feeling of knowing another crew member.

Kaidan stepped away from the doorway and towards her desk, he gently placed a vanilla folder much like the one she had seen just moments before. "Biotic protocol," he answered, expecting her to know that already. Which she should of, if her previous protocol encounter hadn't gone so haywire.

Renee nodded in acknowledgment of her mistake and took his file more eagerly than she did Lt. Hawke's. Kaidan wasn't upset or phased, he merely walked to the empty chair across from her and took a seat. She sat down as well, looking through his file as she had done with Hawke. Like Hawke, Kaidan was a L2 biotic as well, but was gifted with only migraines as a defect of the implants. "I already had a check-up and my last migraine was about a week ago, so I should be fine for at least a little while," Kaidan had gone through this enough times in the last year to know exactly what she would be asking him.

"Well you my friend you have made this the easiest check-in so far," Renee commented cheerfully as she opened the filing drawer to add his papers. She wasn't sure how many other biotics were on the ship, but the Doctor hoped they were going to be as easily dealt with as Kaidan's was. "So, Commander huh?"

"Yeah, didn't exactly ask for it, but it keeps me a little busier than usual," Kaidan replied. She noticed a slight damper in his spirits, which he hid dutifully behind a grin.

"And joining the Corsairs?" Renee added.

Kaidan scoffed, "I didn't exactly have a choice." So both her and Kaidan were volunteered for the Corsairs against their wishes, something the Alliance had a bad habit of doing to soldiers. He scanned the med bay, chilled by the resemblance to the Normandy's med bay, where Dr. Chakwas often helped him through the migraines. Kaidan didn't want to think about that now. It was bad enough he had been promoted without even being properly informed, but now he had to serve on a near replica of the Normandy. "What about you?" he had to keep his mind away from remembering.

"Well, I came back from vacation to find Admiral Hackett waiting in my clinic," she said was sarcastic enthusiasm, "So yeah, I wasn't given much of a choice either." However, what she did know was that someone had specifically requested her to join the Corsairs. Which she had yet to discover who. If Kaidan hadn't been so surprised to see her too, she would have immediately made him a suspect.

Then suddenly she found herself blurting out. "Do you know a Lt. Colton Hawke?" Kaidan raised a suspicious brow at her inquiring question, but nodded in a confusing matter that suggested he did but didn't.

"I know of him, he had a...interesting reputation in the Alliance." And by interesting reputation, Kaidan meant that Lt. Colton Hawke was known as the "playboy" within the circle of biotics in the Alliance. He had only briefly worked with him on a training mission and even without any women around to impress, Hawke still acted like a hotshot. While most female soldiers that had been with the Alliance longer then him knew better then to succumb to his charm, younger recruits often fell head-over-heels for him.

"Yeah, I can why," Renee answered, on the computer checking for Kaidan's digital file as well.

"So you already met him?"

Renee turned away from her typing and nodded. "He knows how to make a terrible first impression," she added,"Especially with the one who will be dealing with his biotic headaches in due time." At the mention of headaches, she was reminded of his crude innuendo of giving him a massage. Renee would be more than satisfied if she only had to meet him on occasional migraine fixes and meals, running into him otherwise would be a problem.

"Well the Captain isn't going to run this ship by himself, I'm gonna get going," Kaidan pulled himself back to the feet and was walking backwards towards the door. "By the way, there is going to be a private meeting in the conference room soon. Captain Vero wants you there."

Renee looked at him with surprise. "But I'm not an Alliance soldier." She realized that was the second time she had to say that today, first being to Admiral Hackett when she was trying to allude to being uninterested.

Kaidan shrugged, "Not sure, but from what I'm told, we needed the best doctor for this mission and you just happen to be that doctor." His tone was serious and Renee felt herself suddenly grow scared. What was that suppose to mean? Kaidan gave her a reassuring smile and headed towards the door again, but stopped in the doorway. When he looked at her with a concern look she had only seen once before, she wasn't anticipating what he was going to say next. "Renee," immediately she looked away knowingly. He stepped back into the room so that the door would close and what he was going to say couldn't be heard. "How are you doing since-" he stopped short, realizing he was treading over fragile territory.

"To be honest Kaidan, I don't think about it anymore," she looked at him with a shy small smile, nothing reassuring or encouraging, just something to hide her obvious pain. "He made his choice, despite everything, he decided to leave. I don't think about it." At this point she was trying to assure herself rather than Kaidan.

"And his vid-mails?" she still wouldn't meet his gaze and he knew her answer. Renee hadn't touched him since she received the first one nearly a year ago, she hadn't read the content of any of them. She didn't know if he was apologizing or asking her to run away with him in his vid-mails; and as far as she was concerned, she had no intentions of finding out anytime soon. Noticing the subject was still soft even now, he left for the door.

Renee still hadn't looked at him, even as he stood in the doorway for a mere second. "See you in a bit Renee." He left her alone and if on cue, her omni-tool suddenly appeared with a new vid-mail.

It was him of course. But as childish as it was still, even after a year, she couldn't bring herself to read Jacob Taylor's vid-mail. As far as she was concerned, he'd left her for good. After all, the biotic had no intentions to say good-bye in the first place.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author`s Note: Yay for fourth chapter. I feel like some parts got a little slow, so forgive me. The next chapter will be important for Renee's history, as well as her relationship with both Kaidan and Jacob. And as you can tell I failed to describe what Renee wears, just think a version of Miranda's uniform obtained after finishing her loyalty mission. This was a long chapter, I'm not sure if the next one will be as long, but maybe. Anyway, enjoy.**

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><p>.04 PROJECT GETH<p>

Soon after Kaidan informed her of being summoned to an important meeting later, the Captain appeared in high-definition on her monitor after a few warning beeps from the computer. Dr. Renee Logan was just walking back and fourth getting comfortable with her surroundings when he cleared his throat to catch her attention. She turned away from where she was checking the medi-gel supply, thankfully this freighter hadn't forgotten to refill it before leaving the station. Captain Vero had downgraded his wardrobe from what she could tell, exchanging his Captain's uniform for a normal Alliance uniform the rest of the crew was wearing. He smiled as she re-approached her desk and sat promptly in front of the monitor.

"Captain?" she tried to act surprised to the best of her ability, but Renee usually found herself trying too hard whenever she pretended to be oblivious to what she already knew. "To what do I owe this pleasure?" That ought to have helped her.

The Captain smirked, and she could hear him lightly applaud her where his hands were off-camera. "No need Doctor, Kaidan already informed me that you know." She breathed a sigh of relief and heard his light chuckle through the speakers. "I wasn't aware you and the Commander had known each other prior to this mission?" Renee knew it would get around eventually and that soon the crew would be speculating just how well they knew one another, especially the Captain, whom had made obvious interests in her since she met him.

"Kaidan and I are really not that close," Renee answered in plain honesty, "I think finding someone else we know on this mission brings a bit of comfort, that's all." Captain Vero was obviously still suspicious, but accepted her explanation anyways. She didn't know any other way to describe their relationship, other than that they were simply friends; not best friends, and no way were they ever involved romantically. Kaidan and her just understood one another, which was an important foundation in how their friendship began. "We won't be breaking any regs Captain," she reassured when she still found him looking at her with a quizzical look.

"Sorry I didn't have intentions to talk about your relationship with Kaidan," although she secretly felt he had to get the facts for himself. "I wanted to drop in and tell you that I need you to be in the conference room in five minutes. I know that you didn't exactly want to be here, with the Corsairs, but your place on this team is very important to the success of the mission. I want to make sure you get all the facts of what will be required of you."

Renee looked at him in puzzlement. "I'm not a solider Captain, surely my role as a Doctor on the Stalengrad is only to fix the wounded?" The Captain faked a smile that only meant she was thinking under false pretenses, which gave way to the realization that Renee was to be far more involved than she wanted. Hell, she didn't want to be here in the first place. Her pleasant smile dropped from her face and she tried eagerly to hide her resentment. Renee probably should of known better than to think an Admiral would just randomly choose her for this.

The Captain sighed regretfully, "I didn't have a say in the matter Dr. Logan, but from what I've heard, you have an excellent record on the field...for a doctor." He shifted across the screen, indicating he was standing in front of his own monitor rather than sitting like her, and leaned closer to the screen. "I didn't want to say much over the link, but Renee, you were recommended by one of our most recognized corsairs. There was no way we could just toss your name in the trash." He checked his watch and whistled at the time, he looked back at Dr. Logan to see she was clearly interested in learning the name of the said corsair, although she was sure she already had an idea. "Meeting starts in a minute, we can talk after."

The link was cut and she was staring at a dark screen. Her reflection was that of someone confused, if it was who she thought it was, why did he do it? Why would he put her name up for something she had clearly never shown an interest in? Renee sighed in frustration and ran her hand down her face, she needed answers, and sooner then later. The doctor checked her omni-tool for the time and found she was seconds from arriving late if she left now, which was better than showing up awkwardly early. She got to her feet and rolled her neck, which had grown stiff from staring at the Captain through a monitor.

Renee was at the door when her omni-tool opened with a new vid-mail, at first she was worried to check the sender, but seeing the Captain's name was a sigh of relief. She decided to check it now, maybe there was something she needed to bring; someone's file or her own. What she wasn't expecting was a sentence entirely unrelated to the meeting. Renee read it over and over, and no matter how many times she did, the message never changed.

_It was Jacob Taylor that told us about you. _Charlie Vero_

Renee was pacing towards the elevator shaft in her usual manner, ignorant of those moving about around her and lost somewhere amongst her thoughts. She was terrible at hiding her emotions when something bothered her, a feature Jacob Taylor always made a habit of pointing out when she was upset around him. He always knew when she was lying. But these people didn't know her, and her walking while looking diligently at the floor was ignored completely by those she brushed past. Which was fine with her; she wasn't in a mood to answer to anyone who might be concerned about her well being. All she wanted was to get this meeting over and tuck herself to bed, or if time allowed, she would talk to Kaidan about what she had learned.

Impatiently Renee jabbed the elevator button repeatedly, waiting for the churning of mechanics to come to a halt behind the elevator gate. The replacement of a convenient stairway was coming from the fourth deck, or the Engineering Deck, and came to a hissing halt on the third deck, where her med bay and most of the crew would reside during the trip. She nearly jumped into the lift, just as eagerly pressing the 'Deck 2' button. Crossing her arms anxiously, she glanced between the button and the gate, waiting for them to fall close. Soon they did and she sighed with relief, however, mid-way through closing they began to re-open.

"Are you-" The doctor huffed, catching her words when she saw Lt. Hawke standing at the lift's entrance. "Kidding me," she finished in a hushed breath, recognizing he was just as surprised to see her as she was to see him. He nodded, acknowledging her, and stepped into the elevator beside her. Lt. Hawke pressed the same 'Deck 2' button and watched as the previously canceled closing of the elevator began to roll shut. Renee rolled her eyes and shook her head, this was just great. As if things weren't already annoying, she had to enjoy an elevator ride with a most loathing man, even if the ride was short.

While she was distracting herself, Hawke was looking at her in an apologetic manner. "Sorry about earlier," he muttered quietly. Renee could tell he had hoped she didn't hear him, but she did. She looked up at him and caught him look away quickly. "I know I was a complete jackass but..." he focused on her again with a friendly grin, although she could sense a hint of his egoist charm in the expression. "I wasn't expecting the Alliance doctor to look like you."

Maybe she should of been flattered, most doctors were far older than her these days and male, but Renee found herself feeling insulted again. She looked at him with the same dislike she had shown him before, "What are you trying to say?" If her arms weren't crossed already she would of crossed them at that exact moment to emphasize her words.

"Well for one, you're not wearing one of those un-flattering uniforms the old docs like to wear." It was true. You could always pick out Renee out of a crowd of doctors because she chose not to wear the standard uniform most doctors and researchers wore. She found them uncomfortable and definitely a very unattractive attire for someone of her youth. So instead she had adapted to wearing a black, sleek cat-like suit. It was light and easy to move in, which was a plus in a doctor's office full of patients back and fourth. Despite him trying to compliment her, Renee felt suddenly self-conscious and didn't like he was paying so much attention to her.

"If more doctors looked like you," he whistled and that same, old wannabe charming smirk was planted on his face. Renee smirked herself, catching him off-guard. "What?" he questioned as the elevator doors opened and she began to make her escape.

Dr. Logan hoped she could leave him to debate himself what she was thinking, but the lieutenant was rather persistent and followed her towards the conference room. "If only there was less Alliance soldiers like you," she spoke briefly over her shoulder at him. She wasn't about to explain her low tolerance for thick headed soldiers, especially ones that made a game of hitting on her.

They walked one after the other into the conference room, where only a handful of other soldiers were waiting in a cluster for the Captain to begin his opening statement. Renee scanned the room for Kaidan, but he was in the middle of exchanging words with the Captain to hear about her news. So she decided to wait along with everyone else, hopefully alone, if Lt. Hawke would just walk off to flirt with another female on board. However he stood beside her, waiting beside her. "Come on Doc, can't you take a compliment?" No, no she couldn't and if she were to think back on it, she never could.

"Just leave me alone Lieutenant," she scowled at him, unable to answer him earnestly. Renee turned away from him after sharing a glare and was happy to see that the Captain was ready to start the meeting.

There weren't chairs, so everyone stood in a wide half-circle around Captain Vero and Kaidan, whom was looking rather upset as the crowd of conversation began to die. The Captain briefly cleared his through to catch everyone's attention and then he nodded at each side of the surrounding soldiers. "As you know, the Corsairs are an elite group of Alliance soldiers thats work off the radar," he had his arms crossed formerly behind his back as he spoke in a loud clear words. "All of you have shown incredible advancement as a soldier, which is why you're here." Renee got that edgy feeling in her stomach, like when you're chugging along something high and on the other side you just race down, like the roller-coasters back on earth.

"Our mission is an important one. It can't be completed by a normal Alliance troop, we needed specialists of all kinds," Renee suddenly felt he was purposely looking at her as he spoke, which made her look away uneasily. "Men and women that will risk anything for the safety of the universe." There suddenly was a silence, an exchange of nervous looks from one soldier to the other. Renee even found herself glancing up at Hawke with curious eyes at where the Captain's speech was going. She saw that he noticed the stir and decided to speak again.

"Commander Alenko was part of a very important mission when the Normandy was attacked by an unidentified enemy," Renee immediately turned to Kaidan, noticing how he squeezed his hands into fists before releasing them again. "As you all know, the Normandy was lost, alongside one of our own..." Being reminded of Commander Shepard's death brought along bad memories of her own, and Renee felt empathetic to how hard this must be for Kaidan right now.

"The Commander and I," Kaidan interjected, catching the doctor by surprise, "We were searching for geth stragglers through out the galaxy." He stepped into the clearing that had been made and she could see just how hard it was for him to speak. "After the Normandy and- and the Commander were lost, the mission was written off. The Geth are still out there and we need to take them out before it all happens again." At that, the Captain joined his side again and nodded at Kaidan's courage for speaking.

"We're not just going to take out the geth, we're going to try and salvage any data caches these Geth might still have of Saren and the attack on the Citadel." There was a wave of gasps and sounds of disbelief. Dr. Logan knew that Geths often self-destructed when their data caches were in-dager of being of being hacked, destroying the data completely. She didn't understand why the Captain could believe that such an impossible task could be accomplished with a group of impressive soldiers. As far as she knew, there had been no one, human or alien, who had managed to ever capture a data cache. The Captain threw up his hands defensively, trying to calm the anxiety that flowed through the room now. "I know what I ask is near impossible, but we've managed to find some allies that can help us acquire the caches." And as if it had all been staged, the door into the conference room slid open and in stepped two Quarians.

Renee was fascinated, she had seen Quarians plenty of times during her work as a doctor and even spent a year studying their anatomy and immune system. However, she had never worked with a Quarian, and to be given the chance was an exciting change to this entire corsair thing. For a moment she forgot she was angry. The Quarians walked to the Captain and stood in the clearing with him. From the obvious shape of their environmental suits, one was a female and the other a male. Haven built the Geth themselves, it would take a Quarians knowledge of the synthetics to capture a data cache.

"I present you, Gerith nar Neema and his sister Rose Nollie nar Neema," the Captain said proudly of the alien crew members.

The male Quarian named Gerith presented a point-making hand gesture and spoke through his mask, "Twins to be exact." Renee's eyes lit up. Twin Quarians was definitely better than just normal sibling Quarians, especially when their people were only allowed to bare a single child. But at the same time she felt sick to her stomach for an entirely different reason. Renee noticed an exchange of annoyed looks between him and his sister. "Well, it's not like they would of known otherwise," he said with an innocent shrug. It was true, while in their suits, other species could barely tell one Quarian from another.

Captain Vero smiled and returned to addressing the crew, "Both Gerith and Rose are currently on their pilgrimage and have agreed to help us hunt down the Geth." He smiled at the Quarians, and Renee felt an eagerness to introduce herself as well.

"Ever wonder what a Quarian really looks like?" she side-glanced at Lt. Hawke, whom had unknowingly thought out loud. Of course, she did know, but she wasn't about to go and tell him that.

"Another addition to the crew will be Lt. Bruce Vector of the Turian Army." From the corner of the room a Turian, who had been left unnoticed since the beginning of the meeting, also joined the Captain's expanding circle of very important people. Renee was wondering soon if an Asari was going to make an appearance, but the Captain had clearly finished introducing extra terrestrial teammates. "He joins us supported by the Turians, to share what we might learn of a common enemy."

Suddenly there was a feeling in the air, a very specific heart-racing feeling that was hard to explain. Renee knew with the conclusion of this meeting the mission would begin. The impending danger sent a chill down her spine, the doctor didn't know if she could ever prepare herself to see a dead man again. Just thinking about it brought back nightmares from the attack on the Citadel, the bullet ridden and slaughtered corpse of innocence scattered across the wards. Patients she had spent years as their doctor, dead at her feet. There was no forgetting death.

"I'd also like to introduce our doctor, Renee Logan." Renee looked up abruptly from her thoughts and felt herself slightly blush at the introduction, she hadn't prepared to be named. The Captain smiled at her encouragingly, yet she still felt a little ill from the formal address. "She has has many experiences on the field, most recent would have been the Batarian terrorist attack on the Citadel. Although not an official Alliance solider, Dr. Logan has done some training and you can trust her to take care of herself as a part of the field team."

Field team? Renee was shaking her head and waving her hands in denial, "Captain I am not a soldier." Everyone seemed surprised by her remark, even the Quarians looked a bit uneasy beneath their masks. Captain Vero gave her a hardened look, even a bit darkened by her constant refusal to participate fully as a corsair. But she didn't care. Renee Logan was a doctor, not a gun-slinging soldier or a implanted biotic. However, it appeared no matter how many times she told him she wasn't a soldier, he was still going to expect her to physically hunt down the Geth. And as upsetting as that was, she was rather annoyed he had done his research on her.

"Everyone on this ship Dr. Logan has a part to play and I expect you to perform yours above the call of duty as an Alliance doctor," the Captain scolded her in the presence of everyone else. Renee crossed her arms, she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of embarrassing her or showing her 'whose boss.' "Now if no one has any questions, you're all dismissed," he looked for any puzzlement among his crew, but there wasn't any. "Then, dismissed."

Renee stared down the Captain as everyone else hustled out of the room, she even ignored Kaidan when he paused momentarily at her side. Only when the Captain began to approach her did she turn her back on him and leave, even when he called her back. She stomped back to the elevator, weaving through the small crowd of soldiers exchanging their opinions of the mission with the recently introduced aliens; which meant she would have the elevator to herself id she were quick enough. She didn't delay pushing the button back to her floor and was relieved no one approached the elevator as the gate closed. But looking out, she saw Lt. Hawke smiling at her in an unusual manner across the lobby as the elevator closed entirely.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author`s Note: So this chapter probably sucks a lot, it's a little forced so I kinda just went with whatever was coming to mind. Renee seems very very pathetic here, but trust me there is a very good reason for that. I'll probably write the next chapter soon, now that I actually have an idea of where things need to go. Or I might update my other story, that's a possibility. Anyhow, I won't bore you with this author's note.**

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><p>.05 QUESTIONABILITY<p>

Everyone had retired for the night knowing their course was set for the Omega Nebula, where the Commander was last patrolling for Geth resistance. Everyone except the Doctor, whom was struggling to keep her eyes closed as the hours ticked by since the Captain's debriefing. Renee had fallen asleep for an hour or two, but found herself awake with a cold sweat and unable to fall back into a slumber. So she was laying on her back, staring at the reflective ceiling trying to bore herself to sleep; but no matter what she was thinking, it kept her awake. She found herself wondering why Jacob, whom had planned to leave with so much as a goodbye when he left the Alliance, would make the effort to contact Admiral Hackett and recommend her for the Corsairs? Then she sharply inhaled, perhaps that was in one of his saved away e-mails too. As much as she wanted to read them, Renee couldn't bring herself to look at him again; not after he left her standing in the doorway of his bunk and definitely not after their encounter during the Batarian attack.

Renee forced herself to sit-up and she glanced at the floor trying to avoid the thought of Jacob Taylor, which meant she needed to get up and walk around the ship. In a few short strides she had left her bed and left the med-bay for the mess-hall just around the corner. The Mess Sergeant was surely snoring somewhere in a bunk, so she padded quietly barefooted behind the counter he usually guarded to find something, anything to drink. She found the coffee machine easy enough in the dark, which only took a few seconds to make these days, but finding a cup took her a little longer. None the less, she was growing more aware with each sip of caffeine she swallowed. So more aware she had become, Renee finally noticed the pillow tousled hair of biotic Hawke watching her with heavy lids from the table. She embarrassingly choked on the coffee, and wiped her mouth subconsciously with her arm. "Were- Did- Have you been sitting there this whole time?" She struggled to put her embarrassment into words, which was received with a sleepy grin.

"Maybe," Hawke answered in a low voice, "I've probably been sitting here longer than you've been up Doc."

She didn't know whether to sit with him or return to her room as they gazed at one another in the most awkward of manners. Renee noticed he was shirtless, but tried not to let on her eyes had wandered to his masculine shape. Which was probably alright by him, for she noticed his own eyes wander to her old Alliance training t-shirt down to the pair of running shorts she was sleeping in. His eyes met her face again with unusual intensity, Renee could help but try and hide her blush behind drinking her coffee. Did he just check her out? "Why don't you take a seat Doc?" Indeed he had. The doctor walked over to the table and sat across from him, nervously glancing around the mess-hall for anything interesting to observe. "You usually don't make the effort to talk anyone do you?"

The question had caught her off guard and Renee was looking at Hawke without an answer, she had never been bluntly confronted with that before. She looked at the table and tapped her fingers on her cup with anxiety, "You'll soon learn that I have trust issues too." She found her voice answer him darkly and with a faint smirk, but it didn't seem to bother him. Hawke just smirked in return and leaned forward on his elbow while he brushed his hand back and fourth through his messy hair. Renee watched him curiously as he did so, taking an eager sip from her dwindling coffee as the moment grew awkward again.

"So Doc, what exactly did the Captain mean by 'many experiences on the field'?" Renee was expecting him to look at her with the some cockiness from their first encounter, but the lieutenant was looking at her with that same intensity from moments before, which was beginning to bother her in an unusual way. She sighed, surely most of the team were wondering what a mere Alliance doctor could do outside the medical bay, but Renee had experience beyond that of a normal medical school graduate.

Renee finished her coffee and pushed aside her cup, before she could answer his question she bit her lip in thought, trying to sum together the right response. "I- I uh," she tried not to think about these things anymore, and bringing them back was a bit harder than she thought. "I was on Eden Prime when this all began," Renee started, glancing at Hawke to see him intently listening to her. "I saw a lot of people die, friends mostly, but-," she licked her lips nervously, "I saw more people I cared about die on the Citadel when Saren and his Geth attacked." It felt like she was reliving those two days as she spoke, how on Eden Prime, Jacob Taylor had made sure she was one of the first to be in safety before protecting the rest of the colony. That had been the beginning of their 'friendship' or whatever it had been before he left. And then how Jacob went out of his way to find her after the Batarian attack, when he had learned she had been on the Citadel during the entire thing. And then how a year of being apart without so much as a word had lead her to release he anger on him...

She buried her face in the palms of her hands when she felt her face grow hot again, but Hawke was about to poke fun at it. "So you're the Doc Jake was always talking about?" Hawke finally said after he had connected the dots when she had mentioned Jacob Taylor the first time in her storytelling. He smiled, which she saw through her hands, still trying to hide her face. "I'll admit, I feel like I already know you from all the nice things he said about you Renee." The young Doctor looked up from hiding her face and was surprised by the biotic's gentleness, which she wasn't expecting at all from someone of his personality. "Jake always went on about how smart and caring you were," he paused, trying to put the right words together, "How beautiful you are and when you smiled, it always made his day better." Renee looked away in disbelief, unsettled by how Hawke was retelling Jacob's observation of her. "He talked about you all the damn time, I felt like I might just-"

Without hesitation, Renee had flung back her seat, sending it toppling over. She wobbly stepped back and then rushed back to the medical bay and then into her room, where she locked herself behind the door. It was all too much to revisit. She didn't want to know that Jacob spoke so fondly of her, not after the last things she said to him with such hatred. From where she had sunk down by the door, she crawled herself back into bed, emotionally drained from thinking of Jacob. Renee rolled onto her side, suddenly tired.

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><p>After finally catching some shut-eye for a handful of hours, Renee woke emotionally drained from hours before and in no mood to deal with Geth today. However, there was work to be done and soon she would be summoned, surely, to partake in the planning of gathering Geth data. Knowing she may get the chance to converse with the Quarian twins was uplifting, after studying their anatomy and immune system she had grown a curiosity for a Quarian's daily routine on the Flotilla. The hope encouraged her to move along a little quicker with getting ready, she dressed in a similar uniform as the day before and used a mirror in the room to check her hair. It was long and straight, as usual, dark as ever and a little wavy from where she had slept on it. She usually considered herself rather plain, she never wore make-up expect for the occasional mascara since her eyes were naturally dark and her complexion naturally fair, thanks to her mother. Now that she was basically ready for the day, Renee left the medical bay to peek at the mess-hall; she was hoping to catch Kaidan there.<p>

The mess-hall was now busy with mid-morning brunch and casual conversation, it was clear members from the meeting hadn't entirely kept their mouths shut. She didn't see Kaidan, but she saw plenty of friendly crew mates greeting her with a 'good morning' or a gesture of their morning joe and a smile. In the back of her mind she didn't see Hawke either, wondering if maybe he had stayed up later than she had and was still sleeping in his bunk. Renee felt her stomach drop at the very thought of running into him again, she couldn't believe she had freaked out like that in front of him. Knowing he might join everyone in the mess-hall soon made her nervous, so she decided to leave before they got the chance to awkwardly run into one another. She back tracked to the elevator and decided to check out the CIC, a part of the ship she had failed to visit upon her initial boarding. Although she did walk through it, she barely took notice to it while walking along side the Captain.

From the elevator she noticed the deck bustling with busy workers, hustling back and fourth to make sure the Stalengrad was running appropriately before they had completely entered the mission. Renee observed the Galaxy Map with little interest, she had never been great with directions and was glad she was never in charge of navigating across the galaxy. She moved along from the map and onto the bridge, where she could hear the pilot conversing with the Captain about something to do with piloting. The doctor was curious to meet the pilot, hoping to get an idea of where exactly in the Omega Nebula they were heading to. The argument had ended by the time she had stepped behind the pilot's chair, so her approach had been heard and the pilot slowly swung around to meet her. She waited with a smile, a smile that slowly dissolved upon seeing Hawke in the chair.

"Well, looks like someone got a good night of sleep eventually," the biotic smirked with arrogance at her surprise. He was obviously back to the way he had been when they first met.

"Someone's back to somewhat normal today," Renee answered, crossing her arms in Hawke's disappointing attitude. She wasn't about to admit it, but she enjoyed the slight heart-to-heart she had run away from with Hawke in the wee hours of the morning. However, it obviously wasn't going to occur again anytime soon.

Lieutenant Hawke grinned deviously, "Weren't expecting me in the pilot seat were you?" No she wasn't, not even the slightest bit.

"I was hoping to have avoided you actually," she bluntly answered, suddenly annoyed. However, that wasn't about to knock the pilot off his high-horse. Hawke chuckled and stood up, towering over her again, like most of the crew did now that she noticed it.

"Don't worry Doc, I'm not the pilot, I've just been trained to fly one of these babies incase of an emergency."

The doctor sighed sarcastically, "Well that's reassuring."

Hawke let out an annoyed chuckle, "You don't think I'll be doing anything right on this mission do you Doc?"

Renee opened her mouth to answer, but someone from behind had beat her to the punch. "That's still to be determined Lt. Hawke."

She stepped aside to take notice to Kaidan, whom was standing as poise and honorable as ever. He had obviously overheard their juvenile bickering, which could easily be misinterpreted as fraternizing, and was determined to stop it before it had gone too far. Renee glanced at Hawke, who was sharply glaring at the Commander if she was not mistaken. And looking back at Kaidan, she could see he was just as unpleased to be in the presence of the lieutenant as well. Suddenly the doctor felt the atmosphere thicken with frustration as the soldiers stared one another down. "Commander," Hawke said sourly through gritted teeth. Renee took the obvious hint that they didn't like one another, or that she had missed something completely.

"Doctor Logan, would you please join me in the armory, I have some things about the mission the Captain wished I would discuss with you." Renee didn't know if Kaidan was making up an excuse for her to leave him or telling the truth, either way however, she knew getting away from the position she was in now seemed like a good idea. So she glanced at Hawke, who hadn't taken his eyes off Kaidan, and then stepped towards the Commander, accepting his invitation.

"Of course. Lieutenant." She said her formal farewell to Hawke and immediately began to follow alongside Kaidan towards the armory, accessed through a door beside the elevator.

Kaidan was quiet at first, observing the laid out weapons from being worked on recently. Renee took notice to a stool and sat down, giving the Commander time to gather his thoughts; she was sure this was going to be more than a conversation about the mission. Her and Kaidan were in dark places when they first met, set-up by their so-called friends for a few drinks. She had been immediately charmed by him, his looks and morals, but what had brought them together was both their unwillingness to let go. Kaidan immediately began their conversation with an apology, he admitted to not being interested in a relationship and that he was mostly forced by his friends to get out. Renee answered with a sigh of relief and a smile, her friends had pushed her to get out too and finding a love interest was the last of her worries. From there they had bonded. Kaidan told her of Commander Shepard's admirable traits and how the vids didn't do her beauty justice. It was obvious he was still madly in-love. That night had only been a couple weeks since Jacob left, so the feelings were still fresh and lingering, but Kaidan was there to help pick the pieces up.

"Renee-" The doctor snapped out of her walk down memory lane to see a worried friend looking down at her.

"Sorry, I just got lost in thought," she apologized softly.

Kaidan smirked kindly, "I noticed." He leaned against the work bench across from where she was sitting to get comfortable. "I was just telling you that Hawke asked about you last night after the conference."

Renee snapped her attention back on Kaidan from where it was wondering about the ground and her face flashed with surprise and disbelief. "To what end?" she asked cautiously. Perhaps it was the conversation from last night that had Kaidan staring Hawke down without so much as a blink.

The Commander glanced away, she could tell it was a little upsetting to bring it up. "He wanted to know why you were being put in the spotlight if you're just a doctor." Renee was sure everyone from that meeting needed a little more convincing that she would be trusted to watch their backs on the upcoming missions, hell, she wasn't even sure she was up to the job. Sighing and chewing on her bottom lip, Renee knew that when they reached the Terminus System, she would really have to prove herself to those around her. "Don't worry," she looked up at Kaidan, who was assuring her with a comforting grin. "I told him that you pack one hell of a punch for your size and your 'luck' of being in the wrong place at the wrong time was training enough to make you qualified for a team member," he emphasized "luck" with his fingers. Sure Renee had visited the shooting range every once in a while, but it was the attacks on Eden Prime and the Citadel that had promoted her talent for taking the initiative.

"This guy is really digging for some information." Renee leaned back and stared at the silver ceiling, blowing a sigh through her lips. What he wanted to know she couldn't really put her finger on; his personality was far too bi-polar for her to tell if he was genuinely interested in knowing her or just looking for an easy squeeze.

She had suddenly found herself ignoring Kaidan and delving somewhere deep in her thoughts, that was until Kaidan abruptly spoke again. "He asked about your relationship with Jacob Taylor too." Her focus suddenly targeted the Commander, who almost looked regretful at mentioning that detail of his conversation with Hawke. "I didn't say anything to him Renee," Kaidan had started, "But..."

She stood up from the stool, a few inches shy of looking him directly in the eye; even in heels. The usual cool-headed Doctor stepped closer to her superior to intimidate him into telling him every last detail of his conversation with the arrogant Lieutenant. "But what?" she hissed, unable to keep her brewing anger at bay any longer. She knew Kaidan wasn't to blame for anything that happened to her, but she was just a nerve away from taking her frustration out on him. "Did you tell him how hopelessly I fell for him? That we had survived so much together and still..." she had to pause to catch herself from yelling too loud, "Still he left, no intentions of saying goodbye and then..." This is where she stopped, where she had stopped with Kaidan many times. Only her and Jacob knew what happened that night after the Batarian attack on the Citadel, and she couldn't bring herself to ever discuss it again. Kaidan knew this, yet she was still so angry. Renee turned her back on him, trying to hide her crumbling emotional wall.

"Renee what happened on the Citadel with Jacob?" Finally the question had been asked, the one thing she had dreaded for Kaidan to ask of her. She felt his hand on her shoulder, but it brought little comfort; so he let it drop back to his waist. "Whatever it was, Renee that was a year ago. You've got to let it go instead of letting it bottle you up."

Renee shook her head slowly, it was hard to stay composed now. "You don't understand what I did Kaidan, I'm not worried about me forgetting what happened," she had turned slightly to face him, but her face was still shadowed by her dark hair. "I'm worried he'll-"

The Armory door hissed open quickly without warning and Renee stopped her sentence, almost thankful for the interruption. The Commander and the doctor for his company both looked at the intruder with a combination of mild shock and relief, perhaps a little rage in Kaidan's case. It was none other than Lt. Hawke, whom was once again unpleased to see the Commander, which was an interesting observation for Renee. Looking at him and how even more deeply upset he looked, she couldn't help but wonder if he had overheard their conversation. Then as suddenly as he had arrived, Hawke was beaming at them both with a smug smile. Renee, whom had managed to hold back her tears was curious. "Captain says I need to get to my post, which just so happens to be the lovely armory..." it was strange how he seemed to purposely direct the comment to Renee.

Kaidan wasn't about to breathe a sigh of defeat and neither was he about to argue with the Captain for the timely interruption, so Renee watched him nod to acknowledge Hawke and then turn back to her. "We'll talk later Dr. Logan, I'll walk you back to the medical bay," Kaidan extended his hand towards the doorway, but Hawke was quick to interrupt him.

"No need Commander, I need the good Doc to stay so I can check her weapon training," he smirked, as if he had won some personal battle between the two. "As Armory Officer, I am entitled to do so."

Renee felt the atmosphere tingle where Kaidan stood beside her, and upon closer look she could see his knuckles were white from being balled into fists and the first strings of his biotic powers leaking from his body. She had known Kaidan long enough to know he always kept in control of his powers, for what reasons he never told her, but she wasn't about to allow him to let loose over something as minimal as Hawke's lacking manners. Her hand felt on his arm, to calm his flaring biotics, and after taking in a sharp breath he had nearly calmed completely. However, the Commander wasn't about to sigh in defeat, so Renee knew she had to take things into her own hands. "Dinner is soon Commander, we'll be able to talk then." Kaidan looked at her surprised, but the doctor knew he understood. Without so much as a look in Hawke's direction he left the armory.

Even as Commander Alenko had left the armory, Renee still felt traces of his biotics lingering after him. It worried her to see him so upset over someone as immature and impulsive as Hawke was being, which was beginning to upset Renee. Why had he gone from the interested curious man from this morning to some biotic with a serious attitude? She hesitated to turn around, to see that he was leaning against a wall with his arms crossed and a grin; but she did, and she met his eyes. Suddenly the lieutenant was gazing at her with the same intensity as he had this morning, any thoughts of mischief were all but erased from how he was looking at her now. Renee was flustered, first Kaidan was asking the impossible question and now Hawke was doing his whole bipolar thing on her again. It was beginning to be enough.

"What do you wan Hawke? You've made it an annoying habit of bothering me in the span of two days." She crossed her arms tightly across her chest and stared at him in a cross manner, unsure how the biotic was going to respond.

"Isn't that a little harsh Doc-"

"No, not at all," she whipped a response before he could comment and smirk about it, and that's when they both began to tick. "I don't know why you went to the Commander asking about me, but whatever the reason is..." Renee knew she needed to get her point across, "Just forget it." Hawke's confidence flickered and his smugness had suddenly vanished. "Alenko and I are only friends, so just leave him alone already. And you-" Renee pointed at him, "You and I, never going to happen." The Doctor had obviously hit a nerve, cause the soldier's jaw hardened and his arms tightened across his chest.

There was obviously not going to be any questioning of her weapon handling, so Renee turned on her heel to leave, but was stopped in her track by Hawke's loud smirk. "Trust me I have no intentions of bedding you and then being rejected the next morning."

She had snapped. In a matter of seconds, Hawke was sitting up from the floor and trying to stop the blood from pouring out his nose. A portable table had been toppled over, along with a few gun parts. Renee's knuckles were both white and red from blood, her heart was racing beyond her limits, and her breathing was ragged and sharp. The injured biotic was shocked, he had never taken a punch like that before and neither had the Doctor delivered one. Almost after the moment had seized, Renee had recognized what she had done and slowly back peddled towards the doorway. However, Hawke wasn't about to let her just walk away. "What the hell?"

Renee was barely at the door and he was on his feet, smearing the blood across his face with his sleeve. His glare was unbarring and she was finding it even more difficult to control her heartbeat. Then he looked away from her and turned his back on her, and Renee had never felt such hatred from anyone before. She felt the need to say something, apologize for hitting him, but when she opened her mouth to speak, Hawke had beaten her. "Just go Doc," he muttered, waving with his hand for her to depart. And she did, without a word to anyone as she took the elevator back down to the medical bay.


End file.
